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| Eve by Pantaleon Szyndler, 1889: Source |
You may be wondering, "why, Eve? Why did you eat the fruit?' See, the story goes that I fell to temptation, right? But no, the real story never gets told, does it? Look, I was never tempted by a serpent, I made that up because I wanted Adam to take the fall. I was sick and tired of him. He is the ONLY mad that I was ever allowed to even look at, what's up with that? I was put on this earth to be his companion, and I get NO choice in the matter? Right. How is that fair? See, I
wanted to get expelled from the Garden of Eden, shoot, I did not realize just how severe the consequences would be, but dang! I was just trying to get a little freedom! How can you blame me? The funny thing is, I never even ate the fruit. Really, I didn't! The entire story is totally fabricated. I got the idea in a dream, actually, I just needed a little excitement in my life, so I figured, why not? What is the worst that could happen? Turns out, it can be pretty bad. Adam takes this whole "law" stuff pretty seriously. He wasn't too happy with me eating the apple, quite frankly, no one was. Honestly, I didn't really mind because I just wanted to shake things up! I didn't realize at the time that this would be such a major controversy. My one little mistake (that I did not even do, mind you) apparently changed the entire course of time and I am now being condoned a sinner, great. What even
is a sinner? This whole situation is honestly just tiring, and I know the world is relatively new and all, but I have no faith in humanity if this is how quickly drama is going to spread. I am just sick and tired of all the drama. I seriously need a break from all of this heat. Oh well, I guess I will see how this one ends.
Bibliography: King James Bible,
Eve Source
Hi Mikayla,
ReplyDeleteHAHAH, I laughed a lot during this, I really liked this take on the Adam and Eve situation. You made it sound like Eve was right here in 2020, angry because she was forced to hangout with some guy she couldn't stand. I liked when you sad "I was put on this earth to be his companion, and I get NO choice in the matter?" It really shows how often times, women's opinions/complaints are often overlooked and they are deemed "dramatic." I like that Eve didn't even eat the apple! "What even is a sinner?" asking questions like this provoke a lot of thought in a reader even though you may not have intended it to, I think this is super cool.
Hi Mikayla,
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny! I have been waiting for someone to do a humor piece so I'm glad I found this during my commenting sessions. I love how you played into the stereotype of women being dramatic to produce this. I also enjoyed the digs, whether you meant them or not, at how works of religion in this matter give less consideration to the women, or portray them in ways that are "less than" i.e. of course it was the woman who ruined eternal bliss, because why would it be the man. Overall, I think this is a great piece to spark some deeper thinking while also maintaining a simple sense of enjoyment. Great job!
Hi Mikayla!
ReplyDeleteThis gave me mad social media rant vibes. It feels like Eve is a girl in high school tired of all the gossiping about her that decided to use social media to set the record straight! I also loved how subtly feminist you made Eve; there was no need to openly criticize how patriarchal or misogynistic the creation story is, but somehow you still managed to make it VERY clear. As I said, this felt to me like it was published in social media, so I was wondering if that was your intention, or what exactly was the purpose of writing Eve's rant in this style. If it does happen that you wanted it to be like a social media rant, I think it would be really interesting if you developed the story more and had God and Adam commenting on her rant, like "OMG let it go Eve! You are such a DRAMA QUEEN!" or something like that. I think it would be hilarious! Anyways, great story, loved it!